Sunday, February 12, 2012

Happy anniversary to me...

Today marks the 3rd year anniversary of my moving here to the US to join my husband, and of course leaving my home country, family and friends back in Malaysia. In my younger adult life, I've lived and worked abroad before for almost 3 years, and traveled quite a bit with my job, but this is different. Back then I know that they were just temporary and I can leave whenever I'm done, thus made things easier to enjoy. Growing up my family moved around a lot, so I had plenty of practice and was always very adaptable to new surroundings. In fact, I thought I thrived at that. So imagine my surprise that I actually found this hard at this "older" age.

I do miss my parents and siblings and the countless extended family gatherings, and there aren't anything here that can fill that void unfortunately. Every family has a different dynamic, a different way to interact. It's funny that when I was back home the sometimes constant extended family get-together were the annoying thing (because as a kid you feel like people are in your business, but now as a parent and an older adult see how the whole family were raising all of us kids collectively and as individuals). Now I feel really sad that my darling son and also my dearest husband do not have that/at this time do not have an option to be a part of that. We look forward to visiting, but having to squeeze that in a couple of short weeks left me too sad to enjoy. This year I will have to remind myself to enjoy every moment that i have there rather than be sad that the time is too short.

As I enter the 4th year of my adjustment period I realized that I am not that badly afflicted with homesickness other than the normal thinking of my family. Of course I wish that my favorite traditional food are readily available in this city especially when I was pregnant and having cravings. At this juncture I know for sure that what I feel strongly lacking is the feeling "at home" here outside my home. Theoretically I know that what I have to do to not feel so isolated is to put myself out there somewhat. The normal course I took was working full time. I did that for 2 years but that didn't help. Maybe if I stayed longer it might, but with the nature of the particular job I doubt as much.

When I first came here, we knew we wanted to move out of state when the economy gets better. :) Then a baby comes, and so on. We still are going to do that, but of course now we are extra cautious. To me a new state/town/place equates the symbol of us as a family unit starting over together, not just me alone making a huge move. Not that this town has any hold on my husband other than the fact that he went to school here - our family here are scattered hours and hours away anyway. But I personally think it will be great for the 3 of us.

I think taking up sewing has done tremendous for my morale. I feel lonesome for my female friends and to have likeminded people exchanging thoughts and opinions and ideas. Building lasting friendships as I get older is difficult, I am lucky to have some close friends that I called my sisters, but they too are scattered. That's why I feel very thankful to have my husband encouraging me to sew, and that I found the online sewing community. Even if I am just reading and taking inspiration from afar, I feel more invigorated than I've ever felt before. :) Thank you!


Talking about sewing, I am working on a dress (McCall pattern M6518 from Phoebe Couture) for a post-Valentine's dinner with my boys. Started on Wed/Thursday, but as usual have things that slow me down. And I have to admit I made 2 muslins, and then also kept on changing my mind on which of my thrifted fabrics to use for the shell and lining!


  1. happy V day dear sis. just to tell that you are in my thoughts. as always, great writing and thanks for sharing it with me.


    1. Thanks for reading K.Sha! Miss you and <3 you.


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